Dear Grandson,
I can see that you’re grappling with something very personal right now, and I want you to know how proud I am of you for being open about it. You’ve shared with me that you think you’re gay, and I want to reassure you that there is absolutely nothing wrong with that. You’re asking yourself big questions, and I’m glad you came to me, because I want to share something from my experience that might help you as you navigate this part of your life.
When I was your age, things were different—so very different. Back in the 1960s, society didn’t talk much about being gay. It was often misunderstood, hidden, or even condemned. In fact, if someone was openly gay, they risked being judged, isolated, or even treated unfairly. Back then, there were no Pride Parades or open discussions about sexual orientation the way there are today. I know it may seem difficult to imagine, but it was a time when many people lived in silence about their true selves, hiding their feelings to fit in with what society expected.
I remember how scared and confused I felt about my own desires, and how different everything was back then. For many years, I didn’t feel like I could talk about who I was or who I was attracted to. I didn’t have role models or communities to turn to, and the pressure to conform to societal norms was heavy. My world was filled with strict expectations about what was “normal” in relationships, and that definition of “normal” left very little room for anyone who didn’t fit inside those narrow lines.
But here’s the most important thing I’ve learned over the years: who you are, and who you love, is entirely your own journey. You don’t have to follow anyone else’s path. You don’t have to fit into anyone’s expectations of what love or attraction “should” look like. What matters most is that you feel comfortable and true to yourself.
You Are Not Alone.
I want to start by saying that you’re not alone, not now, and not in the past. In the sixties, I didn’t have the resources or the community that exists today, but many others like me felt the same way you do now. Today, there are so many people who love and support each other, no matter who they love. And there’s a whole world of LGBTQ+ communities, friends, and allies out there who will help you feel understood and loved for who you truly are. I want you to know that people, like me, have walked paths filled with confusion and fear, but we found joy in being ourselves, and I know you will, too.
It’s Okay to Take Your Time.
You might feel pressure to define everything about yourself right away. I know I did back in the day. But it’s okay to take your time, to let things unfold as they will, without rushing to fit a label. In my day, I felt I had to choose between labels or silence, but now I see that you can simply be who you are—without needing to decide right this second what everything means. Sometimes, life is about learning who you are through your experiences, your emotions, and your relationships. There’s no rush, and you can take as much time as you need to figure out what feels true to you.
Be Proud of Who You Are.
When I was younger, I didn’t know how to be proud of who I was. Society had so many rules about who we could love and how we should act, and there were so few people talking about diversity in love and attraction. But now, I want you to know that being proud of who you are is one of the most powerful things you can do. Even in the face of a world that sometimes doesn’t understand, walking through life with pride, confidence, and self-respect is one of the strongest things anyone can do. You are unique, special, and worthy of love—exactly as you are.
There Will Be Challenges, But You Are Strong.
In the past, when I was your age, it was far more difficult to express yourself. I faced many challenges, many obstacles, and often felt alone. But I got through them because I had people who supported me—family, friends, and even strangers who reached out with kindness and acceptance when I needed it most. Today, there are so many more people who stand together and fight for equality, and those voices of love and acceptance are growing stronger every day. But know this: You are resilient. Life may throw challenges your way, but you have the strength to overcome them, and you have a community of people who will stand with you.
Love is About Connection, Not Labels.
I want to share something very important with you: Love is about connection. It’s not about labels, gender, or expectations from others. It’s about the deep emotional bond you share with someone who understands you, supports you, and makes you feel safe and cherished. Whether you love a man or a woman, or someone else entirely, the most important thing is the respect, trust, and care you build together. Don’t let the world define your love. You have the power to define it yourself, and love is love, no matter who it’s with.
Final Thought:
If I could go back and speak to my younger self, I would tell her to stop hiding. To stop worrying about what others thought. To stop feeling afraid of who she was. It took me years to fully embrace myself, to step into the truth of my identity. But I want you to know this: You do not have to go through that same journey of fear and silence.
I love you for exactly who you are, and I want you to always remember that there is nothing wrong with you. You are whole, and you are loved, and as time goes on, you’ll learn that the most important thing is to accept and honor your own truth. Don’t ever let anyone make you feel that you are less than because of who you love.
You are strong, you are special, and above all, you are deserving of all the love and happiness this world has to offer. I am here for you, always.
With all my love,
SnazzyGranny
