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Grandchildren Relationships

A Letter to My Grandson: What do Girls Want in a Boyfriend?

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Dear Paul,
I’m so glad you came to me with this question! It shows me that you’re thinking seriously about relationships and that you care about making a girl feel special. I wanted to take a moment to give you some advice from my own experience—having grown up in the 1960s, a time when things were very different in terms of dating, relationships, and what was expected of us.
When I was your age, dating and relationships weren’t as casual or open as they are today. Back then, girls were expected to follow certain rules about how they behaved, and it was rare for a young woman to have the kind of freedom you and your friends have today when it comes to exploring relationships. But even though the world has changed, the basics of what girls want in a boyfriend haven’t really changed—and I think those things are still just as important now as they were back then.

Be Respectful
First and foremost, I want you to understand that girls want to feel respected. When I was younger, respect was often shown by little things like opening a door, saying “please” and “thank you,” and showing politeness. While the world has evolved, the need for respect hasn’t gone away. Girls want a boyfriend who listens to them, values their opinions, and treats them as equals. Respect doesn’t just mean treating her well when you’re around other people; it also means being kind and considerate when you’re alone, showing patience, and being thoughtful.
In my day, there was a lot of pressure on women to behave a certain way, but mutual respect was key. I was lucky to have friends who respected me for who I was, and I hope you will be the same type of person—a man who listens and values the feelings of the person he’s with. A respectful boyfriend is someone who makes his girl feel seen and heard, not just when things are easy, but especially when things get tough.

Be Honest and Genuine
Another thing I want to emphasize is the importance of honesty. In my time, dating was often about putting on a mask—people didn’t talk about their feelings as openly as they do today. But from my experience, there is nothing more important than being genuine with someone you care about. It’s easy to get caught up in trying to impress someone by pretending to be someone you’re not, but trust me, that never lasts. If you’re being honest and yourself, that’s the best way to build a strong foundation with someone.
In the 1960s, we didn’t talk much about feelings or emotions—people were often more reserved. But as I grew older, I realized how important it was to be honest with my partner about my thoughts, my dreams, and even my fears. Girls appreciate a boyfriend who is comfortable being real, even if it means admitting flaws or uncertainties. It’s okay to show vulnerability, because that’s what builds trust and connection.

Show You Care Through Actions, Not Just Words
When I was your age, showing affection was often done through small, meaningful actions. We didn’t have texting, social media, or all the ways to instantly communicate that you have today. But that doesn’t mean we didn’t want to feel cared for! Girls like to feel cherished, and it’s not always about the grand gestures—it’s about the small, thoughtful things.
If she’s had a bad day, a simple “I’m thinking of you” or bringing her a cup of tea can show that you care. You don’t need to buy her expensive gifts or plan extravagant dates—just paying attention to her needs and doing little things to make her feel special can go a long way.
When I was a young woman, if a boy really cared, he would take the time to listen to my thoughts, show up when he said he would, and offer help when I needed it. These small, consistent acts made me feel valued and respected. It’s not about flashy gestures but about showing you care day in and day out.

Be Supportive of Her Independence
One thing that’s very important—and I’m so glad it’s becoming more of a priority today—is the idea that girls want to feel supported in their independence. Back in the 1960s, there was a lot of pressure for women to get married young and stay at home. But times have changed, and girls today have more opportunities to pursue their careers, dreams, and passions. A good boyfriend doesn’t just support his girl, he supports her independence and encourages her to chase her goals.
I remember when I was your age, many girls felt like they had to follow the rules that society set out for us—marrying young, having children, and keeping house. I didn’t always feel that was what I wanted, but it wasn’t until later in life that I realized it was okay to have my own dreams and desires. If a girl wants to pursue her career or follow her passions, a supportive boyfriend is one who encourages her to do that, rather than try to hold her back.

Don’t Rush Things—Take Your Time
In my time, dating was a slower process—it wasn’t all about jumping into a relationship right away. We took time to get to know one another and form a deep connection before getting serious. I know that things are different today, and there’s often pressure to move quickly, but don’t rush things. Relationships take time to develop, and taking the time to really understand each other is the key to a lasting, meaningful connection.
In the 1960s, if a boy really liked a girl, he would make the effort to spend time with her and get to know her deeply. It wasn’t about rushing into physical things or rushing to label the relationship—it was about taking the time to build a solid friendship first. Girls want to feel like they can trust their boyfriend, and trust takes time to build.

Have Fun Together and Make Her Laugh
One of the best things a boyfriend can do is make his girlfriend laugh. In my day, we didn’t have all the distractions of modern technology, but we found joy in simple things—telling jokes, playing games, and sharing stories. Girls want to feel joy and laughter in a relationship, not just seriousness. So take the time to enjoy each other’s company and have fun together.
I remember that the best times I had were often just hanging out with someone who could make me laugh. Humor creates a connection, and when you can laugh together, it helps you both feel more comfortable and relaxed. So don’t take life too seriously—find the humor in the small moments and let your natural connection shine.

Be Honest About What You Want
Finally, if you really care about her, you need to be honest about your intentions. In my time, there were a lot of unspoken rules about dating, and many people didn’t really talk about what they wanted in a relationship. If you’re serious about her, don’t play games—be clear about your feelings and where you see the relationship going.
I know it might feel difficult at times to be vulnerable or to express your true emotions, but if you care for someone, being honest and direct is one of the most respectful things you can do. It avoids confusion, and it lets her know that you value her enough to be upfront about what you want in a relationship.

A Final Thought
I want you to know, Grandson, that relationships can be difficult at times. But when you approach them with respect, honesty, and kindness, you’ll be on the right path. Girls want someone who is genuine, supportive, and who values them for who they truly are.
Just remember that love and respect are the foundation of any good relationship. Don’t rush, don’t pretend to be someone you’re not, and always be kind and understanding. Take your time, enjoy the journey, and know that if you treat her well, she will appreciate you in return.
I’m proud of you for caring about what it takes to build a strong, healthy relationship. Keep these lessons close to your heart, and I’m sure you’ll do great.

Love SnazzyGranny

Books Books Review Self improvement

Snazzy Granny Book Review – ‘The subtle art of not giving a fuck’ by Mark Manson

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Look I think this swearing in a book title to get our attention has had its day.

Maybe it’s because I am a bit of a prissy missy at heart, but to me the F word loses its impact when it is overused.[ Although I confess I have used the word myself but that is only in relation to cyclists and never to their faces – always to their bums].  

To me, the swearing lost its impact after a while, as I used to say to the young fat lawyer when he kept retelling the same tedious joke

“It was funny the first time”

But now when I browse the self-help bookshelves, I can scarcely see a title without the f**** word in it.

Mark Manson’s book has been on the bestselling non-fiction lists for ages now. Absurdly I didn’t have to buy a copy because my husband’s best friend bought me a copy of the book for Christmas – now there’s a story in itself. Why the f******would he do that?  Sorry about that, but reading the book is like going to a Billy Connolly concert, you just can’t help swearing for the next week.    

Swearing aside, and there is a lot of swearing in this book, his point is that we must ration the things that we give a f**about. 

In other words, he suggests we reserve our angst for what really matters like family, friends, health, anything that is important to you – and you say fuck to everything else. Or as my Mum once said when the young fat lawyer threw my front door key onto the roof of the garage.

“Choose your battles dear”.

We save our fucks for what really matters particularly those people who have stayed around long enough to give a fuck about. We should be comfortable with the fact that we don’t have to feel comfortable all the time.  We don’t have to give a fuck about anything that doesn’t seem important.

Clark Gable said the same thing years ago in the film “Gone with the Wind”

Frankly my dear I don’t give a damn.

Books Books Military Review

Snazzy Granny Book Review – Platoon Leader

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Military memoirs are usually written by high ranking officers from the comfort of their quaint cottages in the Cotswolds.

  “Contact” was the first of this genre of book written by a front-line squaddie.  AFN Clarke, the author was, of course, not a squaddie for long and went on to be commissioned as an Officer and Platoon Commander with Britain’s elite Parachute Regiment. It is a tale of courage and resilience.  It is a painful tale that at times is deeply personal.  It is angry and raw and yet despite all this it reveals a warm human being full of compassion for his soldiers. We are not surprised to learn that he is now a passionate member of the peace movement for Northern Ireland

He paints a painful brutal scenario of exhausted soldiers who were often despised by both sides and even to this day are vilified for what was indeed a thankless task of keeping Catholics and Protestants apart. He describes living amongst the people but not of the people.  Living rough, not washing, and carrying everything he needed to sustain living in a Burgen that he had to carry on his back.  Being the leader of the patrol is a lonely job balancing the task of being respected by his platoon, friendly but not too friendly, not overstepping that balance.

 His experience made him what he is today.  Physically damaged, mentally saddened, but strong and more human that when he embarked on his first tour of duty. It is not just a story of a platoon in Northern Island in the 70’s it is a tale of a man’s growth through the experience. A fascinating man, a soldier an adventurer, a sailor, a horseman, a racing driver and a qualified pilot. In addition, he has all the human qualities I would like my grandchildren to have.

All of this in “Contact” the book. It is written with a passion for getting the story down.  No wonder the army didn’t like it. It is a major contribution to our understanding of war and how people act. It should be read by every mother who is bewildered when her son returns from the battle front exhausted and damaged, by politicians who send these young men into battle. It belongs rightly on the reading list of every soldier about to face “Contact” and on the shelves of every University library under the heading “Peace Studies”.

Books Books Fiction Review

Snazzy Granny Book Review – ‘Lady in Waiting’

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I am a bit of a closet royalist despite 30 years living in Australia, so I was very eager to read this book for some gossip on the life of Princess Margaret.  I could not wait for it to be available in a book shop in Australia.  So, I purchased the audible version.   It was a disappointment. There is a good reason that actors read these types of books.  Lady Glenconner, whilst very affable on Graham Norton [that is what sucked me into buying the book] has a flat delivery and seemed to be in a hurry to get to the next sentence.

It is a good read though and I confess I loved it.   Aristocrats stuff up their lives just like we peasants do but if they are all like Lady Glenconner they just do not seem to realise it. Anne Glenconner was married for 50 years to a bullying, manipulative and thoroughly spoilt man who was clearly in need of psychiatric treatment. The book is worth buying just to read about his incredible toddler tantrums on aeroplanes and sexual debauchery. Her loyalty was all to no avail however because he disinherited her and left his fortune to a man servant….and she was suprised!.   She devoted her life to him and to Princess Margaret and left her sons to the care of nannies and consequently failed miserably.  A rum lot they turned out to be. Neglect, death and drug addiction were the consequences of her misplaced loyalty.

Time and again when Princess Margaret beckoned, she rushed to her instead of taking care of her sons.

It was fun to read but for me this book was spoilt by some petty and unkind words regarding the then Governor General of Australia, Sir Roden Cutler VC.  She poked fun at his chivalry and old school values. Big mistake.  Australians hold Sir Roden Cutler, close to their hearts. He was war hero and holder of the VC at the age of 25 in World War ll and a perfect gentleman. She should be ashamed of her words. The shady characters in her book, whilst amusing cannot hold a candle to him. To her discredit even in the picture section she can’t resist a snide remark. I believe she is coming to Australia, good luck with that Lady Glenconner.  Don’t mess with our National Treasures if you want to flog your book.

Books Self improvement

Book review – the sirt food diet

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It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a woman in possession of a large backside must be in need of a diet book.
As I browse the diet section in my local bookstore, I realise that I have bought them all – and most of them are sitting on my shelves -at home.
But I will give it one more chance, so I buy the “the Sirt food diet” on Amazon Kindle. I choose the Kindle edition so that the book will not sit on my kitchen shelf and mock me when I fail again. Adele’s amazing weight loss is all down to this diet apparently and who knows I might even be able to sing in tune.


However, I am not encouraged when I see it is not written by a doctor or dietician but two celebrity nutritionists. I am never sure what a “nutritionist” is. It is a bit of a vague category. Is it someone who has studied at university to be a qualified dietitian? or is someone who has done a few courses online or even someone who works at a private gym and makes it all up. I know that I should be relying on evidence-based research.
The diet is based on sirt foods (SIRTS). It is thought that certain natural plant compounds (polyphenols) may be able to trigger the body into weight loss and miraculously at the same time maintain muscle mass and protect from chronic disease. It all sounds very encouraging and possibly too good to be true.


Most of these ingredients are easy to find and not bad at all. Red wine, strawberries, extra virgin olive oil, dark chocolate, walnuts and kale. I can do that.


The diet consists of 2 phases and involves making three green juices a day. The authors suggest that one should use a juicer but I didn’t have one and I thought I would be losing out on fibre so I put the kale, apples, celery and other stuff in my new fancy Vitamix, which I bought at great expense for my last diet.


Whilst the green juice was a bit hard core and did make a bit of a mess in my kitchen the diet allowed one proper meal a day and the recipes for those were fabulous -miso and sesame glazed fish, prawns with buck wheat noodles and vegetarian options too. “Him indoors”, who should lose weight but does not think it is doable enjoyed all these meals. Just don’t mention the diet word.

I think this diet is for me, the food is beyond delicious, quite unlike any boring diet food I have tried before. Don’t get me started on diet food like “light and sleezy”. My secret stash of sirfood bites sits in my fridge and is my go-to sweet treat. No guilt then. If you can get through the three days which are 1000 calories, then you will enjoy it – and lose weight. I have lent it to the fat lawyer, watch this space.

Relationships Uncategorized

Selling my family home

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I’m sitting in this garden for the last night.  The sun is low in the sky and the birds are calling to each other before nightfall.  I’m cold, there’s a cool wind blowing, but that’s not what I am feeling.  Sadness, regret, happiness, fear all of those things.  It’s almost time to go.  How can I leave?

 I walk slowly round the garden that my Dad planted.

We are down 6 fish in the pond. The kookaburra must have eaten the other 14. The lawn is looking decidedly brown, but the hose must sit carefully tightly coiled for months to come. The water restrictions are in place and the fires are too close for comfort.  How long ago was it that  a dear family friend planted it out.  A favour repaid she did is so well done that it is positively blooming.  Australian natives not the roses, hollyhocks and cottage plants I wanted but Australian natives, strong hardy plants just like her.    My neighbour Ian is getting in his washing and he calls out to me over the fence.

“I see you have sold then.”

“Yep it was only up on the internet for 24 hours I was kind of hoping it wouldn’t be so fast.

it’s a sad day for Sue and me”.

“We’ll miss you too Ian, I remember you moving in with the child bride”

“Just had our silver wedding”

I know we went to the party.  There quite a few parties, wasn’t there?

We chatted 10 minutes, just had we had always done…. he’s a bit far right in his politics for me but he will do….he drove my husband to hospital when he broke all his fingers walking along the beach  and his wife left flowers when my dog died…good honest people ..I will miss them.

The house is bulging with memories, a wedding, a funeral, a birth.  Christmas was always spent here, sometimes just the 2 of us, sometimes 16.  Sometimes we had to adjust the seating as 3 of the family were pregnant all at the same time.  There are a lot of Christmases in 45 years and a lot of memories.  As I shut the door for the last time and walk down the drive, I look at the sign on the front lawn, it has a huge triumphant SOLD sign on it,

The new people will make it their own.  They seem quite nice but who knows.  I hope they will be kind to the house because it has been very kind to me.